35 Ideas for Connecting with your Kids
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For some reason, kids grow up.
I’m telling you. It’s such a strange thing, this parenting gig. One moment, you are rocking little babies to sleep, wiping up a thousand spills and messes, lifting, scooping, reading books over and over, kissing boo boos, and being touched at seemingly every moment.
And then they get a little bigger. And you are still wiping messes, but suddenly they are making themselves toast and omelets. They may like you to read to them, but they are snuggled up on a cozy chair enjoying a book by themselves more often. You feel that grip around your heart as you see them grow up before your eyes—wanting to see them grow, yet not, at the same time.
As my three boys just keep growing, I’m noticing that as they grow more independent, my need to be more intentional grows with them. Instead of them always inserting themselves next to me, I’m finding that I have to insert myself next to them. As we are usually at home together, I can easily spend a lot of time around my kids, but not a lot of time really with them.
Of course, as a mom, I want to stay well-connected with my kids. But, as an introvert, I tend to gravitate towards quiet and alone—so it does take effort and intentionality to really connect with my kids (beyond the day-to-day life with them). To be honest, it’s not always easy for me.
So, I decided that it would fun to come up with a big list of ways to connect + hang out with my kids (because sometimes in the moment I just need a reference instead of trying to come up with ideas!). Some of these are my ideas, and some were shared with me!
It helps me to remember that connecting with them means being present with them. I’m not super distracted. I’m not working. I’m not scrolling or half-listening. I’m present.
Eyeballs on theirs. Listening intently. Paying attention to whatever their current interest is. Joining them in their favorite activity. This speaks love to them. Sometimes when tempers are flaring, or frustrations mounting, or moodiness is taking over—a few moments of genuine interest and connection can go a long way :)
So, onto the list:
Read together. Grab a few favorite books and ask them to cozy in next to you!
Make or bake food together. For younger kids, give them a simple task to do (like stir or dump) and encourage them. For older kids, give them a recipe and be their assistant.
Start a parent/kid book club. My oldest and I have a book club together (we both love to read!). We switch picking out books and picking a place to enjoy a treat while we discuss the book.
Go out to a favorite coffee shop and sip on fancy drinks. Nothing beats a warm drink and having some one-on-one time!
Join them in their room for some time to play, engage, or chat. Bring in a little treat to make it extra special!
Have a movie night. Choose a movie together, bring out the popcorn, and discuss your favorite parts after the movie.
Take a walk or hike together. Often kids engage better side-by-side rather than facing you, and a walk can also help our bodies feel better too.
Write them a note. Connection doesn’t always have to be face-to-face. Sometimes a little note or letter reminds them of your care for them.
Join them at school for lunch. I still remember my parents joining me for lunch + I loved it!
Go to the library. Join them as they look for books and chat about your favorites when you were their age (or your current reads!)
Have a crafting session. If your kiddos enjoy crafting, pull out the crafts and sit down with them to create. See what you can come up with together!
Build together. My boys love playing with LEGO, and although I’m not a very gifted builder, they get a kick out of watching me try. It’s fun for me too! They especially love that they can teach me new building tricks!
Paint. Grab some paints, choose a subject, and paint. See what you each come up with!
Blanket and pillow pile up. Sometimes, you just need to pile on the blankets, snuggle up, and chat for a few!
Play a game together. I have a few favorites I like to take out when we don’t have loads of time, but we perhaps need a reset and some time together :)
Work on a project together. Maybe it’s sewing, woodworking, putting together furniture, or a house project—teaching and involving them is so important. Plus, they love to feel like a big helper!
Wrestle. I should make the disclaimer that I have three sons, so maybe wrestling is more normal. But, they always think it’s hilarious when I join in for a good wrestle. I’m never sure what I am doing, but they think it’s great.
Find a fun way to tell them you love them. Write it on the mirror. Write it on their dinner napkin. Or send a little note in their lunchbox or coat pocket.
Bring them breakfast in bed. Have a late sleeper? Surprise them with a little breakfast in bed and enjoy talking with them while you enjoy breakfast together.
Hug them. Sometimes kids just need a good squeeze (and sometimes we do too!)
Interview them. Come up with ten questions for them, and then they can interview you too.
Table time. This is especially useful for little ones. Grab some play dough or crayons and just enjoy playing and creating together.
Play sports together. If your child enjoys a particular sport, head outside and play it with them (even if your skills aren’t the best!).
Have a dance party. Nothing beats a dance party to help lift the mood and get some time to hang out together (don’t be afraid to get super silly!)
Do a task together. Often I’ll grab one of my kids to help me with something like laundry, getting firewood, a cleaning up a space. It might not be their top choice, but working together can help us accomplish something together.
Bedtime bust-out. Just before they nod off to sleep, pull them out of bed for top secret parent and child chat time with a warm drink and/or treat. Ps. This is better for older kids—not toddlers ;)
Silly drawing contest. Sit back to back. Each person has a piece of paper and then choose a subject (like flowers, sky, fruit, etc). Set the timer for five minutes and draw a super silly picture. After the timer goes off, share your pictures (and probably giggle!)
Go out for a treat or a meal. My kids always love when they get to go out somewhere special with just mom or dad.
Do a puzzle together. I’m not a huge puzzle person, but it is an easy activity to pull out, work together on, and gives lot of opportunity for chatting + connecting.
Go to a concert or museum. Not only does this give you time together, but it can also expose your kids to new music, entertainment, art, and/or culture.
Learn something new together. As homeschoolers, we spend a lot of time learning together. But choosing something that’s new to everyone (like a new skill, subject, etc) is a fun way to connect.
Explore together. Find a place you’ve never been (maybe a new nature trail or part of town) and just enjoy walking around together and exploring.
Exercise together. Often, when I’m exercising, I'll have a kiddo join me. It not only helps them get out some energy, but it can be fun to motivate one another!
Read God’s Word together. Maybe you each read solo, just next to one another and then discuss what you read. Or maybe you read outloud and discuss the passage. This is something I’m looking forward to doing more often with my kids.
Pray together. Prayer is something that can deeply connect two people—as well as drawing you closer to God. If they come to you with a struggle, taking time to pray with them reminds them that both you and God care for them.
Ultimately, I want them to know that it is joy to be with them! Just as my Heavenly Father delights in me, I want to delight in and enjoy my kids. And I want them to know how much they are loved and cherished! Moments of connecting (big or small) build a foundation of trust, love, and open communication with my kids.
How about you? What would you add to this list?
Ps. Here are some resources from the shop that might be helpful to use as you connect with your kids:
Creation Play Collection (perfect for table time with toddlers or young preschoolers)
Grab one of the Lamp + Light Bible reading guides to do alongside your kiddo(s)
